Yesterday I came back from a 2 week family holiday. For me it was a time of contrast, and looking back over the last few years. We stayed in that place once before (four years ago I think) but this was near the lowest point of my illness, and I cannot remember much. When we went I was confined to the house and in a lot of pain, but I remember being amazed at gifts God had put in place even before we knew I needed them. We had booked the holiday many months in advance when my health was in decline, but we had no idea then how far it would go. By the time we went I couldn’t climb stairs, but God had provided downstairs bedrooms. I couldn’t leave the house, but there was a stunning sea view. I couldn’t maintain my body temperature without a fire or hot water bottle (often both!), and there was an open fire. In each detail, we saw that God had gone before us and seen to the needs I didn’t even realise I would have.

This year is so different! I’m not in pain, I have gone on walks, swam in the sea every day, gone paddle boarding, done handstands, joined in with my family, and (excitingly 😜) slept in an upstairs bedroom!

But some things are the same: as I look back, I am reminded of things God taught me through illness – truths that have not changed though my circumstances have. There is one in particular which I’d like to share that God taught me through my wheelchair.

During recovery, I started to be able to leave the house in a wheelchair. This was both enabling and exciting, but at the same time very humbling. I wrote this at the time:

If you have never needed a wheelchair, you probably will not know what an enabling thing it is, making the impossible possible. But it is also challenging as your mobility depends on others, and varies a lot on who is pushing.

One of the things God has been challenging me on is ‘wheelchair faith’. He has been teaching me through my wheelchair that I can not always choose where to go, and I do not do things in my own strength. There are times I’m parked up and left alone, and other times when my brothers race with me and I effortlessly speed up hills.

It made me think of how God is sometimes compared in a derogatory way to a crutch, for people who are weak. But a crutch is something you only use when you choose to, a tool to get from one place to another. A wheelchair, however, is giving the decisions to someone else. It is an acknowledgement of extreme weakness, and dependency on the one pushing. I realised I need God to be my wheelchair. I’m too weak for a crutch!

I started thinking what it would mean to be in ‘God’s wheelchair’. Would I be willing to let him ‘park me up’ and be left alone while others go to places and do things I can’t ? How about when he calls me to heights that I cannot climb, will I be willing to trust him to take me there? The promise of this also comes with a warning: when I am enjoying those high places, not to forget that it is because of the strength of the one pushing me and make the mistake of getting out of the wheelchair. I am still a weak cripple, just being ‘pushed’ by a great God.”

This is the great thing, though! There is no limit to what God can do, where He can take me, or what He can do through me. The race of my life will not be confined to a “wheelchair friendly” route. Once I realise that it all depends on Him (not me!), then the possibilities of God’s plan for my life expand. He is limitless!

This transforms the way I view my circumstances. I have felt so limited… So trapped. I know I can not accomplish anything for God, and sometimes I give in to the lie that this means He can not glorify himself in me. But once I realised that – no matter how weak I am – I am only as limited as the one pushing my wheelchair, my limitations melt away into awe at this unlimited God.

In a wheelchair (age 16)

Now (returning to my typical craziness!)

To take it further, God is showing me how, when I am in the wheelchair, people end up putting all their bags, coats, and even tired siblings on my lap… so much that I could never carry, even in perfect health, if not in the wheelchair. This is one of the weakest times in my life, but somehow I am carrying more… because it does not depend on me. I can’t take credit for it, or be proud of anything, because it is only by the strength of the one pushing me. So…

Could it be the ones in ‘God’s wheelchairs’ to whom he gives more to carry…?

Those who seem strongest are often those who lean hardest.

I’ve used the wheelchair as a picture of what faith can look like as we live by God strength. To be in ‘God’s wheelchair’ does not necessarily mean having a physical disability, but to know your weakness, and to live in obedience by faith trusting God for the strength you do not have, and letting Him decide the path you take. It is to lean hard into Him.

Recently I watched a clip (click here to view) of a father and son doing an Iron Man together . The son is severely disabled, and the father swims, cycles, and runs him the whole way. I love the way this demonstrates the truths God has taught me through my own disability and his redemption of my life. He has shown me that, as the Father sees his son as so much more than his disabilities, so God sees a value in us that goes so much further than what we can (or cannot) do. Throughout the video, you can see that their delight in each other and absolute devotion to each other is what motivates each of them. And it is this same delight and devotion that marks, motivates, and makes beautiful our journey with God. He glorifies Himself in us because he delights in us, not because of our striving.

The way the son asks to do an Iron Man with his Dad reminds me of the power and intimacy of prayer. We can ask our heavenly Father to do great things in our lives beyond our limitations, because it is His committed love for us and limitless power that will accomplish this.

And finally, I think my favourite moment is when they are running up to the finish line, the son waving his arms in exultation as the crowds cheer…. This is how we will cross the finish lines of our lives if we live by faith. Yet the beauty of it is that, though there will be a “crowd of witnesses” rejoicing in a race well run, it will be clear that it was only by our Father’s strength that it was completed.

Now I have different challenges, and different choices. As, my strength returns, my abilities increase, and my circumstances change I remember the God who has brought me through, and continues to carry me now. He has not changed, nor have his promises, nor has his ability to glorify himself in me unhindered by any weakness of mine.

I am reminded to stay in my “wheelchair of faith”, to keep depending on God, and leaning hard into Him, to delight in Him, and have confidence in the God who holds my future, to know that He can make the race of my life like that Iron Man – unlimited by my weakness, and to know that everything that He accomplishes in me will be by His strength for His glory. “For from him, and through him, and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen!” (Romans 11)

Outing with family (in wheelchair age 16)

(Now) On a walk with siblings again

I pray that each one of us would come to know the joy of running the race He has set for us in His strength and for His glory. Let us lean hard into Him!

Hephzibah

For more on living an abundant life by faith see Called to Thrive

blog, Christian, Digging Deeper, Faith

Wheelchair faith

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Bible, blog, Digging Deeper, Prayer

Is He worth it?

I recently found an old email I sent a while ago, and decided to put the whole thing in a post just as it was. My description of where my illness is at is not up to date, it was during a relapse over a year ago, but I felt it was the right context in which to share this topic and best left how it was…Enjoy!
“Beloved siblings in Christ,
Just thought I’d share with you some verses I’ve found helpful recently.
“I know, LORD, that our lives are not our own. We are not able to plan our own course. So correct me, LORD, but please be gentle.” – Jeremiah 10:23-24a
I love this because it expresses much of my journey with prayer in continuing to pray God’s will in my life, while at the same time praying he’ll be gentle because I have seen a little of how it can cost. It also describes the journey I’ve been on in learning my life is not my own, and just how powerless my plans are.

My prayer before this illness was “whatever you want, whatever it takes” and in response to that God gave me ME/CFS (yes, I do believe this illness was an answer to prayer! Be careful how you pray!!!). I have struggled with so many things through this. I have (and do) struggle to surrender my life to him and joyfully accept the life he gives, I struggle with not being able to plan and often having to give up my plans/hopes/dreams. 
Recently I felt God ask me, “Do you still mean it? Would you still pray that now you know a little of what it costs?” 
…I thought about this. I am struggling right now. I’m struggling with exhaustion, finding it very hard to eat, having to spend the majority of each day in bed, and to give up (again) many of the things I love. I’m wearied out, I am becoming more isolated as I am more and more housebound, I’m tired of illness, limitations, being useless, exhaustion. I’m soul weary from battling, and having to do much of it alone. I DON’T WANT ANY MORE! 
But is it worth it? Is having Jesus as LORD of my life – all of my life – worth it? Is it worth it to know him more, to grow closer to him? And if that is the only thing that comes from this illness – knowing God more – is that alone worth it? 
“When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it!” – Matthew 13:46 
Jesus is that pearl – worth everything. And a pearl is created through suffering. Jesus is that pearl of great price because he suffered. Because he gave up everything. Because, somehow, through the eyes of grace, he considered us worth it. It cost him everything to make the priceless treasure of salvation, of eternity with him, and of being able to draw near to God, available to us.
How can I withhold anything from this God? O LORD, let my prayer again be:

“Whatever you want. Whatever it costs…You are worth it!”

But I am still weary, and it still hurts to pray this, and I still feel I can’t take any more. But this is what I love about Jeremiah’s prayer. He knows what he needs to pray – for God’s correction and for God’s will to be worked out in his life, but he also knows what it costs. So he prays “correct me, LORD, but please be gentle.”
So I will pray,
Lord, you know I’m tired, you know I’m weary, you know it is a battle for hope, and that my strength has run out. You know how much I can take. I want this to be over, but more than that I want your will in my life. Do whatever will honour you most. Do not let me withhold any part of my life. You are so much more than worth it! I don’t understand, but I know that you are good. I still pray Whatever you will, whatever it costs. You are worth it! But please be gentle! 
So brothers and sisters, what is your prayer? Is he worth it? Are you weary, and afraid to pray something that God might answer in a way that costs? 
I would encourage you to pray this anyway. Jesus is the greatest treasure, and worth every cost. But at the same time it’s ok to pray ‘please be gentle’. He knows we are weak. He knows our limits, and how much we can take. Sometimes it is scary to pray this because it is handing over control, and trusting that he will not allow more than we can bear. But he has promised. And he that has promised is faithful to complete everything he has said. 
Hold onto those promises brothers and sisters. We have a glorious inheritance – one worth waiting for. Let us live in hope… looking to Jesus.

He has not forsaken you.”

Praying for you, walking with you, cheering you on,

Hephzibah

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Betrayed by God?

Have you ever felt betrayed by God? When prayers you have desperately prayed, seem to go unheard and unanswered? When the promises you have clung to appear empty and without fulfilment? When the hope you have kept alive is finally dashed beyond repair…

“Has his steadfast love for ever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” – Psalm 77:8-9

Maybe your prayers have sounded like this at times… or your secret thoughts. What is it that causes that deep grief?

“This is my grief: that the right hand of the Most High has changed” – Psalm 77:10

To the psalmist’s eyes, God’s blessing had changed. The right hand signified blessing, and it seemed God had removed that or changed his character. This grieved him more than anything else. I think this is also what most deeply grieves us in any situation. It is not always the circumstances themselves that drive us to despair, but the fact that we cannot see God in them, and to us it seems that he has changed, failed, given up, or betrayed us.

God is unchangeable. He cannot lie. He cannot deny who He is. Yet there are things that we cannot and never will understand, things that we won’t be able to reconcile to a good God.

I think often our feeling of betrayal by God comes from our expectation. We read promises like “all things work together for good”, and “I will prosper the righteous”, and we imagine a life full of blessings, victories, and prayers answered how we want them. When this does not happen, we think God must be false to His promises, but maybe it is just that we never really grasped them in the first place.

I am not saying here that we should not live in expectation… of course we should! We have a great God who works to bless his people and we should have confidence in that… only that we should not define what that blessing is.

We so like to tell God what is best. Our idea of God’s best for us is health, a job or ministry we love, a happy family, good finances, and a bit of spiritual growth too. But look at the way He promises to care for us in John 15. He promises to prune us to make us grow and thrive. This means being cut back, experiencing frustration, disappointment, and loss. These may be big or little things, but He loves us enough to do whatever is necessary to make us grow, thrive, and produce an abundant harvest in Him, and that includes allowing pain and loss.

Another mistake we make is to tell God when and how. A good friend and role-model of mine said recently

When God gives you a promise, it’s because you’re going to need it.

That is so simple, but a truth very few of us grasp. If it is all going to happen now, what need is there for Him to have given a promise? When we receive God’s promises, we want to see it happen… now! But He gives us promises as hope to cling on to when it looks impossible. He gives us promises for things we are going to have to wait for. He gives us promises so we have a window into the goodness of God when we can find it nowhere else.

And this is the psalmist’s response. He cannot see it now, but he declares what he knows about God…

“I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What God is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples. You with your arm redeemed your people…” – Psalm 77:11-15

One thing I have discovered is that God fulfils every promise he has made… but the fulfilment of those is very rarely what I have expected. He answers every prayer… but his answer is not always how we want.

In the preface to her book “Joni”, Joni Eareckson Tada (a quadriplegic) wrote

“To rephrase this thought, I suggest that there are likewise only two joys. One is having God answer all your prayers; the other is not receiving the answer to all your prayers. I believe this because I have found that God knows my needs infinitely better than I know them. And He is utterly dependable, no matter which direction our circumstances take us.”

He is faithful. He is enough. He is all I need. But let’s be real about the pain and confusion that can make us question, and the times we feel God has let us down or betrayed us. May God enable us to embrace each joy He gives… through the answers we want, and the ones we don’t. And may He strengthen us to hold onto truth. To hold onto the promises He’s given us for the waiting. And to hold onto the memories of His goodness to us and the anchor of our Hope – Jesus crucified for us, and certain, glorious eternity with Him.

Press on, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. Press on to receive that crown of glory He has waiting for you. It will be worth it!

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The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” – Job 33:4

Breathing is something we often take for granted. Yet God brought home the truth of this verse to me during the more intense part of this illness. As I got more and more unwell, one of the symptoms I had was difficulty breathing. When seeking medical advice, I was just told, “your body is too tired to breath easily, the physical effort is too much. There’s nothing we can do.” So I would have to spend most of every day just lying down and breathing, focussing on each breath. I remember the vulnerability of this. Although I was never so I couldn’t breath, having so little energy that it took most of my strength for each breath felt too close for comfort!

But in those hours of breathing, sometimes praying for the next breath, I started to realise more and more how every breath is a gift. Knowing what it was to depend on God to give me the next breath, and the next breath, I found that each breath was precious. Every breath is a chance to live, every breath a chance to know God, every breath a chance to praise and give thanks, every breath a chance to live for him. This makes every moment worth living, even when it means chronic pain, being housebound and struggling to breath. I started to give thanks for them, one breath at a time… each one a gift of life, and an opportunity to live for him.

We are so utterly dependant on Him. Every moment is given, sustained, by Him. And when you realise this, the fragility and the preciousness of life, it begs the question: how shall we use it? It’s not enough to drift through life anymore. How will you use each breath… each day? Will you use your breath to praise or curse, encourage or criticise, to reach out and serve, or to serve yourself? Much of these daily choices are determined by your purpose. What are you living for?

The verses below describe God’s power, his gift of life to us, the way he gives each breath, and how he determines the boundaries of our lives. Then it also states what we are created for…

“The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is He served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything.

And he made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined allotted periods and boundaries of their dwelling place, that they should seek God…”

Acts 17:25,27a

This should be our main purpose in life. Here I am not just talking about prayer or time alone with God (though it certainly includes this) but a constant seeking Him in everything. That every breath whether used to exercise, sing, speak to your family, communicate with others, encourage, pray, bless, challenge, serve, sustain, work, or rest is used with the one purpose of seeking God. God should not be confined to the “spiritual” part of your life. If He gives you breath for all these things, then surely He is in them. Surely the one who gives you each breath should be considered in the way you then use it?

With the purpose of seeking God with each breath, it impacts every part of our lives, changing the way we use our words, the way we spend our time, the things we count as important. Any moment spent seeking God is never wasted. Every breath is given by God, and we are free to choose how to use it… but we are created to seek Him with every breath He gives. Through so much of our day, we get on with life, and maybe touch base with God at some point, but throughout all those things we do He is supplying every breath, every moment of life. It is good to remember this… to remember in all the business and doing that even at the most basic level we are utterly dependant on the one who gives us life. That without Him we can do nothing, but with Him anything is possible.

I write this because I need this challenge as much as anybody. I would like to say God is considered in each word I say and each thing I do, but often he is not, and this is when I forget my purpose of seeking God, and live for myself. May God teach me and the rest of His church to fully live for Him, and use every breath to seek Him!

Today, as you go through life, remember the one who sustains your every breath. Give thanks for this day, this chance he has given you to love and praise him. Live with boldness using every opportunity. And seek Him as long as you have breath.

“Let everything that has breath praise the LORD! Praise the LORD!” – Psalm 150:6

Hephzibah

Illustration by Valerie Martin

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Every Breath

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blog, Two Minute Treasure

Just and Justifier

“It was to show His righteousness at the present time, so that He might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.” – Romans 3:26

If God just excused or passed over sin, he could no longer be good or just. I hear so many people say, “I’m really a good person. When I die God won’t judge me for the things that I’ve done wrong.” Our hope of eternity is that there will be no sin, or the consequences of sin (pain, sickness, evil…). If God were to merely excuse sin, it would be to allow it to enter heaven. What hope is there in that!?

For God to be completely just and righteous and holy, and “he cannot deny himself” (2 Tim 2:13), he has to judge sin. This would leave us with no hope, but He also became our Justifier.

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood to be received by faith.” – Romans 3:23-25

Jesus’s blood covered all our sin. He became the propitiation – the covering, the substitute, the sacrifice, the payment for every debt we owe. In this way, God stays consistent with His character, sin is forgiven but also paid for, eternity is kept sin-free and so remains a glorious hope, and salvation is made available to all who could not reach it any other way. Take a moment to reflect on the wonder of His unchanging, uncompromising character, and praise Him that He is both Just and your Justifier. We have a glorious God!

Father, I praise you for who you are, and that you do not change. Thank you for your perfect salvation and that makes me righteous through Jesus, and for the promise of eternity without sin. May I know you, worship you, and proclaim you as Just and Justifier of my soul.

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Called to Thrive

“Blessed is the man who trusts on the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year if drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” – Jeremiah 17:7-8

I remember the process of accepting being housebound. Each month I would give up more things hoping desperately that would be enough, but it never was. I clung onto church as long as I could, but eventually had to give that up too. In the business of others’ lives, very few noticed I was so unwell and dropping out of things, and I started becoming quite isolated. One Sunday I had been determined to make it to church, but had to go home after about 20 minutes, and was so unwell I couldn’t eat or get out of bed for most of the rest of the day. When I eventually came out of my room in the evening I found out that we’d had visitors. My closest friends at the time had come round, and I hadn’t been well enough to see them. This seemed particularly hard, as it was one thing to accept not being able to go out and see them, but after weeks of not seeing anyone it stung particularly hard to have them come round only for me still to not be able to see them.

I went to God crying “How can I live this way? You are taking so much from me!” The pain of loss and utter confusion of what goodness there could be in this felt overwhelming. I could not coherently pray, so I put on some Christian music and started worshipping Him. Then a song called Thrive by Casting Crowns came on, and there was one line in it that stood out to me. “It’s time for us to more than just survive. We were made to Thrive.” And I started praying…”God I believe this is true. I even believe that somehow, in your sovereign plan, you are going to use this illness to make me thrive. But right now I am just surviving… barely surviving. Every day is a fight to continue. Help me!”

His reply was clear, and uncompromising: “I want you to Thrive now.”

…”What? Now? Do you see what I’m going through? Do you know the constant pain I’m in, the battle for hope every night while I can’t sleep, the way everything is being taken from me, even my own personality, character and identity, my friends, my abilities? This is impossible!”

Hmm… “Do you know?” …”Do you see?” Silly questions to ask an all-knowing sovereign God. Of course he knows. …Then how does he expect me to thrive if he knows how hard life is? What does he even mean?

If I was the “tree” described in Jeremiah 17, then I was surely going through a season of drought and heat. Yet what struck me about these verses is it says it “does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit”. Even then the tree thrives… the man who trusts in the Lord. Our calling to thrive in God is not a calling to a prosperous life full of blessings, it is a calling to find God to be enough to make us grow and thrive even in drought!

This was hard though. I DID trust God ultimately, but it was just sometimes hard to do that as I lost yet another thing. Then God took me to Psalm 50. This is actually quite a condemning psalm of Israel’s hypocrisy in sacrifices, but then comes this verse

“Offer to God a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and perform your vows to the most High. Call upon me in the day of trouble. I will deliver you and you shall glorify me.” (Psalm 50:14-15)

Over all Israel’s sacrifices, God wanted a sacrifice of thanks. Above all I could no longer give Him, this was the one sacrifice he wanted of me.

But how are thanksgiving and trust connected? To give thanks is an act of faith. It is easy to give thanks when things are good, but when things get hard, when you are living with pain and loss, thanksgiving suddenly becomes very hard. There are times when there is very little in our circumstances that looks good or something to give thanks for, and then our thanksgiving must be rooted in who He is. This is what it means to be a tree planted by water, and to send your roots out deep into the stream that is God – that stream of living water that will never dry up, no matter how bad the drought is. It is to give thanks for Him, because we know Who he is, and that he will remain faithful to that.

…And then we get a change of perspective. Rather than judging God by our circumstances, we judge our circumstances by God. He is faithful, He is good, He is sovereign, He knows everything, His plan is perfect, He is always with us, and He is working through every circumstance… Every circumstance. That means that in this illness is God’s goodness, in fact, in this illness is God.

I want to clarify something here – illness, sickness, sin, brokenness, pain, or suffering of any kind, is not of God. These are a result of the curse, a consequence of sin, and a wage we have all earned from which God will redeem us and restore all that we, through sin, have ruined. BUT because He is sovereign, He is in everything and working redemption even now through our suffering.

If I believe in his sovereignty and goodness, then I must believe that this was allowed for my good. What had started as giving thanks for who he is, then became also giving thanks for what he gave. Many say we are only to give thanks in all things, but the Bible says we are to give thanks for all things.

“…giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 5:20)

The example I am reminded of here is Betsy (Corrie Ten Boom’s sister) in the prison camp challenging her sister to give thanks for the fleas. At that time, there was nothing good to be seen from having bad flea infested rooms to sleep in. Betsy believed by faith that God was in that, and gave thanks for the fleas. Later it was the fleas that enabled them to start a Bible Reading and worship time with the prisoners because the guards would not enter there. Her faith was rewarded, the fleas were a gift, but she had to give thanks for them when they seemed nothing but a pain, and another toll on her already sick body.

This is faith – to give thanks even for the trials he allows, knowing that He is in them, that his goodness and faithfulness have allowed this, even – and especially – when we can see no goodness or faithfulness in our circumstances.

To do this we have to hold out our hands to God, opening them and releasing to Him all that we so desperately want to cling to, at the same time giving thanks for whatever He gives, knowing by faith that it is good. Closed fists hold nothing but darkness, open hands can receive His grace. When we close our fists our fingers point inwards, this mirrors the state of our hearts when we close our fists to God – looking to ourselves. When we open our hands our fingers point outwards, looking to God – the one we trust enough to let go of those things we want and release them to Him, trusting Him to fill our hands, and knowing that what He gives is good… because He is good.

This is why thanksgiving is an act of faith. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see, so to give thanks for God’s goodness in everything when we cannot see it – this is faith! This is part of what it looks like to be a “man who trusts in the LORD”, and to live out our calling to Thrive in Him even through times of drought.

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A Sacrifice of Praise

In the Bible, God asks for a sacrifice of praise, but what does this look like in different circumstances. My brother put it this way: “our question when we face suffering should not be ‘Why God?’ but ‘What?’… ‘what should my response be?'”

This was a challenge to do through the years of chronic illness, pain, and being housebound. Then into my struggle to praise, God asked me a question. It was during a week of particularly intense symptoms, a real wrestle with depression, on one of many sleepless nights and when I was really longing for health, God asked me how I would respond if he healed me… and then how I would respond if He didn’t. He challenged me that his goodness is not dependent on health, or healing, or happy endings, but that I should remember who he is and hope in that. And that, whatever he allowed, he was equally worthy of praise. That night I reminded myself of who God is and wrote my response to his unchanging goodness.

“If He gives health I will thank him.

If he allows sickness I will praise Him.

When he guides I will follow.

When he stays silent I will wait.

In pain I will pursue him.

In gladness I will enjoy him.

In hope I will be confident in him.

In doubt I will fall on him.

And uncertainty I will rest in him.

In despair I will cry out to Him.

In sorrow I will reach for Him.

In loneliness I will abide with Him.

In failure I will rely on his grace.

In success I will walk humbly with Him.

In suffering I will long for Him.

In questioning I will stand on his truth.

If he gives strength, I will serve Him.

If he allows weakness I will depend on Him to use me anyway.

In my brokenness I will look to His beauty.

In wholeness I will trust in His strength.

In adoration I will dance with Him.

In hopelessness I will turn to Him.

In faith I will obey Him.

In the desert I will thirst for Him.

In fear I will fly to Him.

In love I will worship Him.

In repentance I will weep with Him.

In prayer I will seek his face… for he is the God above all, worthy of all kinds of praise, enough for every circumstance, and sufficient for every failing.

He is:

Eternally good,

Totally sovereign,

Perfectly compassionate,

Completely trustworthy,

Abounding in grace,

Freely forgiving,

Selflessly serving,

Humbly sacrificing,

Holy and righteous,

Mighty in power,

Lavish in giving,

Never forsaking,

Choosing and keeping,

Always completing,

Faithfully working,

Steadfastly saving,

Surely this God is worthy of all praise! Whatever my circumstances, feelings, or failings, He is worthy. He is enough! He is the ultimate treasure and joy. So fill me Lord! Fill this cracked pot with the treasure of knowing you – the God who is worth everything.

As I wrote this out, I was encouraged to realise that he accepts all kinds of praise from whatever place we are in. My Dad says “God’s highest praise comes from the lowest place”. We do not need to be in a good place or able to do more than cry out to Him, for even this is praise and a sacrifice that pleases him. The desperate cry out of our pain when we cannot see the goodness of God – that doesn’t understand but chooses to praise, is as glorifying to Him as the delight and wonder we express when we see his goodness.

He invites you…

“Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and He who has no money, come, buy and eat!… Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your souls may live.”

“Let not conscience make you linger.

Nor of fitness fondly dream.

All the fitness He requires

Is to feel your need of Him”

(Come ye sinners – Joseph Hart.)

What will your response be?

Hephzibah

Illustration by Valerie Martin

blog, Digging Deeper, Illustrated

A sacrifice of praise

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